What do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you sound like when you talk to yourself? Do you encourage yourself and say positive uplifting things like you would to a close and trusted friend, or do you put yourself down and say things you wouldn’t ever say out loud?

There is something called self-compassion. It means being kind and caring to yourself. It’s all about acknowledging you are a person who deserves love, empathy, encouragement and support.

How would you care for yourself if you were someone else caring for you? It may seem like a complicated question, but your answer could be very revealing. If you were a caregiver for yourself, how would you treat yourself? The reason this question is so important is that caregivers tend to think about everyone except themselves. Since they are not getting the self-care they need, it’s a one-way road to burnout. Be careful and make sure you don’t go down that road.

Love is not a luxury that you should give to everyone else except yourself. If you really do care for other people a great deal, you would realize that you can’t continue caring for them on a long-term basis if you don’t take care of yourself. Maybe you grew up being told that loving yourself is selfish and you should always put yourself last, and that’s the reason you struggle so much with self-love.

Think for a minute about being on an airplane with several hundred other people. The flight attendant announces there is a problem and everyone must put on their air masks. If you neglect to put yours on because you’re helping other people put theirs on, you won’t last very long before you collapse. You didn’t have time to help very many people. Now think of a different scenario. You quickly put yours on first and then go about the cabin helping other people. In this scenario you can help a lot more people.

It’s much the same in caregiving. Getting your needs met is essential to your health and to the ability of you continuing to care for your loved one. Do what you need to do to get enough sleep, eat a good diet, get regular exercise and have some time off.

If you are struggling to get enough family members who can help you out with caregiving, consider getting a home care provider for your elderly loved one. If you feel that one day off a week is enough for you to recharge your strength and energy, that’s perfect. If it works out better for you to have a few hours each day where a professional caregiver is looking after your loved one so you can do other things, then that’s the best choice for you.